Every movie site has one of these now, but since I haven't been writing much in my reviews lately, I thought adding this list would compensate. Plus I used to have several of these from past years posted here, until I realized how nerdy they were. Someday I'll replace them in the Archives/Lists (yeah, I know, you can't wait), but it's no big deal. Unlike most of these "Best Of" tabulations, mine has been an entire year in the making, literally. I regularly updated it whenever I saw a new release. The point of which is that it's not as forgetful, lazy-assed, and unbalanced as the Oscars, where the only 2 criteria are 1) the amount of hype a movie gets, and 2) whether it's come out in the past month and a half. Those short attention span motherfuckers, they've sodomized all meaning out of a word like "best". I'm probably no better, though, since, obviously, it's easier to remember a movie I saw an hour ago than one I saw 8 months ago. But I try to be as objective and fair as I can. The dynamic of selection will be of little consequence, of course, once you've seen the calibre of films and performances that I've chosen as my favorites. I will have lost at least 90% of my audience (assuming there is any) after the first mention of "Josie and the Pussycats" (beware, it's early on, and it happens again. A lot). Which in itself assumes I haven't already alienated many of you (i.e. jeff_v) who are familiar with my mildly unorthodox (read: overruled and rejected by the majority) perspective. Yo, less self-deprecation (I hate it when people overdo that sort of thing; smacks of being desperate for approval, huh? I am sorry), more awards! 2001. Forget the Academy Awards. And the Golden Globes. And the People's Choice. And the SAG Awards. The Critics Choice Awards. And the Director's Guild Awards. And the National Board of Review Awards. And the AFI Awards. And the Blockbuster Awards. And the TV Guide Awards. And Ebert & Roeper's inane Memo to the Academy episode. Even the MTV Movie Awards, for however entertaining the ceremony may be, the actual winners are often just as outrageous and objectionable as anything decided upon by John Q. Oscar. Ignore them all except for me, and I guess my fellow online writers, like this new guy filmmaker03, because at least theirs are a tad less predictable, and therefore more fun to browse. Damn, why am I still writing this prologue. Hey, look over there!
BEST FILM
1 The Royal Tenenbaums (A+)
2 Moulin Rouge (A)
3 Josie and the Pussycats (A)
4 A.I. Artificial Intelligence (A)
5 Monsters, Inc. (A)
6 Vanilla Sky (A)
7 Black Hawk Down (A)
8 Ocean’s 11 (A)
9 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (A)
10 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (A)
BEST ACTOR
1 Gene Hackman (The Royal Tenenbaums)
2 Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)
3 Haley Joel Osment (A.I.)
4 Denzel Washington (Training Day)
5 Brad Pitt (Ocean’s 11)
WOW, HE CAN SING, TOO!: Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge)
ONE CHARISMATIC SON OF A BITCH: George Clooney (Ocean’s 11)
AN UNDERRATED ACTOR: Paul Walker (Joy Ride)
BEST OVERACTING: Matthew Lillard (13 Ghosts)
BEST ACTRESS (admittedly a fluffy, lightweight bunch this year, besides #1)
1 Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge)
2 Reese Witherspoon (Legally Blonde)
3 Rachael Leigh Cook (Josie and the Pussycats)
4 Gwyneth Paltrow (Shallow Hal)
5 Jennifer Love Hewitt (Heartbreakers)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1 Luke Wilson (The Royal Tenenbaums)
2 Alan Cumming (Spy Kids/Josie and the Pussycats)
3 Jude Law (A.I.)
4 Ian McKellen (Lord of the Rings)
5 Owen Wilson (The Royal Tenenbaums)
EXCELLENT PERFORMANCES ALL THE SAME
6 Ray Liotta (Heartbreakers)
7 Tim Roth (Planet of the Apes)
8 Owen Wilson (Zoolander)
9 Steve Zahn (Joy Ride)
10 Alan Rickman (Harry Potter)
11 Ian Holm (Lord of the Rings/From Hell)
12 Paul Bettany (A Knight’s Tale/A Beautiful Mind)
13 Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums)
14 Danny Glover (The Royal Tenenbaums)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1 Gwyneth Paltrow (The Royal Tenenbaums)
2 Parker Posey (Josie and the Pussycats)
3 Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind)
4 Anjelica Huston (The Royal Tenenbaums)
5 Helen Mirren (Gosford Park)
BEST BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
1 Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
2 Emma Watson (Harry Potter)
3 Rupert Grint (Harry Potter)
4 Paul Bettany (A Knight’s Tale/A Beautiful Mind)
5 Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter)
MOST BEAUTIFUL / SEXY
1 Jennifer Love Hewitt (Heartbreakers)
2 Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge)
3 Gwyneth Paltrow (The Royal Tenenbaums)
4 Zhang Ziyi (Rush Hour 2)
5 Alyson Hannigan (American Pie 2)
6 Rachael Leigh Cook (Josie and the Pussycats)
7 Reese Witherspoon (Legally Blonde)
8 Gwyneth Paltrow (Shallow Hal)
9 Kate Beckinsale (Pearl Harbor)
10 Mia Kirschner (Not Another Teen Movie)
THE REST
11 Marley Shelton (Sugar and Spice)
12 Eliza Dushku (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back/Soul Survivors)
13 Brittany Murphy (Summer Catch)
14 Kathleen Robertson (Scary Movie 2)
15 Chick in (Out Cold)
16 Christine Taylor (Zoolander)
17 Bridget Fonda (Kiss of the Dragon)
18 Courteney Cox Arquette (3,000 Miles to Graceland)
19 Katharine Towne (Evolution)
20 Jessica Biel (Summer Catch)
21 Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind)
22 Chyler Leigh (Not Another Teen Movie)
23 China Chow (Head Over Heels)
24 Natasha Lyonne (American Pie 2)
25 Lacey Chabert (Not Another Teen Movie)
26 Cate Blanchett (Lord of the Rings)
27 Shannon Elizabeth (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
28 Marley Shelton (Valentine)
29 Amanda Detmer (Saving Silverman)
30 Tara Reid (American Pie 2)
31 Katherine Heigl (Valentine)
32 Mila Kunis (Get Over It)
33 Kirsten Dunst (Get Over It)
34 Heather Graham (From Hell)
35 Selma Blair (Legally Blonde)
36 Halle Berry (Swordfish)
And hey, Anjelica Huston was pretty in “The Royal Tenenbaums”. Deal
BEST CAMEO
1 Matt Damon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
2 Seann William Scott (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
3 James Van Der Beek (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
4 Jason Biggs (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
5 Jeremy Piven (Rush Hour 2)
6 Laura Dern (Jurassic Park 3)
7 Topher Grace (Ocean’s 11)
8 James Woods (Scary Movie 2)
9 Don Cheadle (Rush Hour 2)
10 John Hurt (Harry Potter)
11 Molly Ringwald (Not Another Teen Movie)
12 Paul Gleason (Not Another Teen Movie)
BEST YOUNG ACTOR
1 Haley Joel Osment (A.I.)
2 Emma Watson (Harry Potter)
3 Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
4 Rupert Grint (Harry Potter)
5 Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter)
COOLEST CHARACTER
1 “Richie Tenenbaum”/Luke Wilson (The Royal Tenenbaums)
2 “Rusty”/Brad Pitt (Ocean’s 11)
3 “Stifler”/Seann William Scott (American Pie 2)
4 “Gigolo Joe”/Jude Law (A.I.)
5 “Danny Ocean”/George Clooney (Ocean’s 11)
6 “Gandalf”/Ian McKellen (Lord of the Rings)
7 “Boo”/voice of Mary Gibbs (Monsters, Inc.)
8 “Royal Tenenbaum”/Gene Hackman (The Royal Tenenbaums)
9 “General Thade”/Tim Roth (Planet of the Apes)
10 “Sully”/voice of John Goodman (Monsters, Inc.)
11 “Professor Snape”/Alan Rickman (Harry Potter)
12 “John Nash”/Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)
13 “Fiona”/Parker Posey (Josie and the Pussycats)
14 “Wyatt Frame”/Alan Cumming (Josie and the Pussycats)
15 “Gloop”/Alan Cumming (Spy Kids)
16 “Michelle”/Alyson Hannigan (American Pie 2)
17 “Hagrid”/Robbie Coltrane (Harry Potter)
18 “Elle Woods”/Reese Witherspoon (Legally Blonde)
19 “Alan M.”/Gabriel Mann (Josie and the Pussycats)
20 “Rafkin”/Matthew Lillard (13 Ghosts)
BEST ANIMATED FILM
1 Monsters, Inc.
2 Shrek
3 Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within
4 Atlantis: The Lost Empire
5 Recess: School’s Out
BEST VOICE-OVER PERFORMANCE
1 Mary Gibbs (Monsters, Inc.)
2 John Goodman (Monsters, Inc.)
3 Eddie Murphy (Shrek)
4 Billy Crystal (Monsters, Inc.)
5 Mike Myers (Shrek)
6 Ming-Na (Final Fantasy)
7 Michael J. Fox (Atlantis)
8 Cameron Diaz (Shrek)
9 Donald Sutherland (Final Fantasy)
10 John Lithgow (Shrek)
BEST VILLAIN
1 Tim Roth (Planet of the Apes/The Musketeer)
2 Denzel Washington (Training Day)
3 Ian Holm (From Hell)
4 Parker Posey (Josie and the Pussycats)
5 Alan Cumming (Josie and the Pussycats)
6 Richard Roxburgh (Moulin Rouge)
7 Tcheky Karyo (Kiss of the Dragon)
8 Andy Garcia (Ocean’s 11)
9 Will Ferrell (Zoolander)
10 John Travolta (Swordfish)
BEST SONG
1 3 Small Words (Josie and the Pussycats)
2 the Elephant scene (Moulin Rouge)
3 Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright – Shrek)
4 Spin Around (Josie and the Pussycats)
5 Pretend to be Nice (Josie and the Pussycats)
6 Perfect Day (Hoku – Legally Blonde)
7 Shapeshifter (Josie and the Pussycats)
8 You’re a Star (Josie and the Pussycats)
9 I’m a Believer (Smash Mouth – Shrek)
10 Come on (Josie and the Pussycats)
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
1 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (John Williams)
2 Lord of the Rings (Howard Shore)
3 A.I. (John Williams)
4 From Hell (Trevor Jones)
5 Hannibal (Hans Zimmer)
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
1 Josie and the Pussycats (Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Tracy Edmonds, Kay
Hanley, etc. etc. etc. & a Danny Elfman replica)
2 Moulin Rouge (Craig Armstrong, Marius De Vries, Steve Hitchcock
3 Ocean’s 11 (David Holmes)
4 Heartbreakers (Danny Elfman)
5 Monsters, Inc. (Randy Newman)
BEST COLLECTION OF SONGS
1 Josie and the Pussycats
2 The Royal Tenenbaums (Paul Simon, Ramones, Beach Boys, Beatles, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Nick Drake, The Rolling Stones, etc.)
3 American Pie 2 (Everywhere, Flavor of the Weak, Vertigo, Scumbag, Fat Lip, In Too Deep, Want You Bad, Smooth Criminal, Everytime I Look for You, Hash Pipe, Hit or Miss, Be Like That, etc.)
4 Moulin Rouge (all originally composed)
5 Not Another Teen Movie (covers of Tainted Love, Bizarre Love Triangle, Melt with You, True, Don’t You Forget About Me, 99 Red Balloons, The Metro, etc.)
6 Vanilla Sky (pretentious critical darling artists, but some are actually worth their reputations, like Beach Boys, or REM)
7 Out Cold (lots of Jack Johnson but best of all “Bubble Toes”, Makes No Difference, Anytime by Eve 6, etc.)
BEST MUSIC MOMENT
1 the Elephant scene (Moulin Rouge)
2 everything in (Moulin Rouge)
3 “3 Small Words” introduction (Josie and the Pussycats)
4 “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard” mischief montage (The Royal Tenenbaums)
5 “Spin Around” conclusion (Josie and the Pussycats)
6 “Your Song” (Moulin Rouge)
7 “Roxanne” (Moulin Rouge)
8 “tech support!”/Beach Boys (Vanilla Sky)
BEST SOUND
1 Pearl Harbor
2 Moulin Rouge
3 The Fast and the Furious
4 The Mummy Returns
5 Hannibal
MOST CLICHÉD FILM
1 Pearl Harbor
2 Jurassic Park 3
3 Valentine
4 Out Cold
5 The Majestic
MOST ORIGINAL FILM
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
2 A.I.
3 Vanilla Sky
4 Shrek
5 Monsters, Inc.
BETTER THAN EXPECTED
1 Kiss of the Dragon
2 A.I.
3 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
4 Not Another Teen Movie
5 Save the Last Dance
6 Lord of the Rings
7 From Hell
8 Black Hawk Down
9 Moulin Rouge
10 A Knight’s Tale
WORSE THAN EXPECTED
1 3,000 Miles to Graceland
2 Jurassic Park 3
3 Planet of the Apes
MOST OVERRATED
1 Shrek
2 Lord of the Rings
3 The Mexican
MOST UNDERRATED
1 Monsters, Inc.
2 Josie and the Pussycats
3 Heartbreakers
4 Evolution
5 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
BEST MOVIE TRAILER
1 Josie and the Pussycats
2 The Royal Tenenbaums
3 3,000 Miles to Graceland
4 The New Guy
5 Legally Blonde
BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
1 Seann William Scott (American Pie 2)
2 Ben Affleck (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
3 Jason Mewes (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
4 Alan Cumming (Josie and the Pussycats)
5 Matt Damon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
6 Ray Liotta (Heartbreakers)
7 Owen Wilson (Zoolander)
8 Seann William Scott (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
9 Gene Hackman (The Royal Tenenbaums)
10 Parker Posey (Josie and the Pussycats)
11 Will Ferrell (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
12 James Marsden (Sugar and Spice)
13 Owen Wilson (The Royal Tenenbaums)
14 Orlando Jones (Evolution)
15 Eddie Murphy (Shrek)
16 Jack Black (Saving Silverman)
17 Paulo Costanzo (Josie and the Pussycats)
18 Eric Christian Olsen (Not Another Teen Movie)
19 Seann William Scott (Evolution)
20 David Duchovny (Evolution)
21 Jason Biggs (American Pie 2)
22 Chris Evans (Not Another Teen Movie)
23 Deon Richmond (Not Another Teen Movie)
24 Chris Kattan (Corky Romano)
25 Ben Stiller (Zoolander)
26 Kevin Smith (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
27 Jennifer Love Hewitt (Heartbreakers)
28 John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge)
29 Jim Broadbent (Moulin Rouge)
30 Jack Black (Shallow Hal)
31 Will Ferrell (Zoolander)
32 Jason Alexander (Shallow Hal)
33 Sigourney Weaver (Heartbreakers)
34 Steve Zahn (Saving Silverman)
35 Danny Trejo (Spy Kids)
BEST ON-SCREEN TEAM
1 George Clooney/Brad Pitt (Ocean’s 11)
2 Jason Mewes/Kevin Smith (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
3 Rachael Leigh Cook/Tara Reid/Rosario Dawson (Josie and the Pussycats)
4 David Duchovny/Orlando Jones (Evolution)
5 Paul Walker/Steve Zahn (Joy Ride)
6 Mike Myers/Eddie Murphy (Shrek)
7 Jason Biggs/Thomas Ian Nicholas/Chris Klein/Eddie Kaye Thomas/Seann William Scott (American Pie 2)
8 Daniel Radcliffe/Rupert Grint/Emma Watson (Harry Potter)
9 Sigourney Weaver/Jennifer Love Hewitt (Heartbreakers)
10 Steve Zahn/Jack Black (Saving Silverman)
BEST ON-SCREEN CHEMISTRY
1 Ewan McGregor/Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge)
2 Jet Li/Bridget Fonda (Kiss of the Dragon)
3 Jason Biggs/Alyson Hannigan (American Pie 2)
4 Jack Black/Gwyneth Paltrow (Shallow Hal)
5 Jason Mewes/Shannon Elizabeth ? (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)
NOT QUITE CHEMISTRY, BUT PERFECTLY ACHIEVED BY BOTH ACTORS
1 Luke Wilson and Gwyneth Paltrow (The Royal Tenenbaums)
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
1 A.I.
2 Lord of the Rings
3 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
4 Moulin Rouge
5 The Mummy Returns
6 Spy Kids
7 Pearl Harbor
8 Evolution
9 13 Ghosts
BEST MAKEUP EFFECTS
1 Planet of the Apes
2 Lord of the Rings
3 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
4 Moulin Rouge
5 13 Ghosts
BEST GORE EFFECTS
1 Black Hawk Down
2 13 Ghosts
3 Hannibal
4 From Hell
5 Kiss of the Dragon
6 The Forsaken
7 Valentine
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
2 Moulin Rouge
3 A.I.
4 Black Hawk Down
5 Lord of the Rings
6 Ocean’s 11
7 Vanilla Sky
8 Josie and the Pussycats
9 Gosford Park
BEST SET DESIGN/ART DIRECTION
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
2 Moulin Rouge
3 A.I.
4 Lord of the Rings
5 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
6 Josie and the Pussycats
7 Vanilla Sky
8 From Hell
9 Pearl Harbor
10 Hannibal
11 Spy Kids
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
2 Moulin Rouge
3 Lord of the Rings
4 Pearl Harbor
5 Josie and the Pussycats
6 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
7 A.I.
8 From Hell
BEST SEQUEL
1 American Pie 2 (better)
2 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (better than some, a perfect series finale)
3 Hannibal (considerably better)
4 The Mummy Returns (somewhat better, kind of the same)
5 Rush Hour 2 (pretty much da same, only less appetizing this time)
6 Scary Movie 2 (a bit less funny, just as annoying)
BEST COLLECTION OF ACTORS
1 Ocean’s 11
2 The Royal Tenenbaums
3 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
4 Zoolander
5 Summer Catch
6 Black Hawk Down
7 Gosford Park
8 American Pie 2
9 Pearl Harbor
10 America’s Sweethearts
11 3,000 Miles to Graceland
12 Scary Movie 2
13 Josie and the Pussycats
14 Planet of the Apes
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A CAST
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
2 Black Hawk Down
3 Ocean’s 11
4 Gosford Park
5 Josie and the Pussycats
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
1 Vanilla Sky (Cameron Crowe)
2 A.I. (Steven Spielberg)
3 Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson and a co-writer of some sort)
4 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Steven Kloves)
5 Hannibal (David Mamet & Steve Zaillian)
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
1 The Royal Tenenbaums (Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson)
2 Moulin Rouge (Baz Luhrmann and Craig Pierce)
3 Monsters, Inc. (a very good writer whose name I forgot to look up)
4 Shrek (Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio, Roger S.H. Schulman, and Joe Stillman)
5 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Kevin Smith)
10 WORST FILMS
1 Head Over Heels (F)
2 Jurassic Park 3 (F)
3 The Musketeer (F)
4 See Spot Run (D-)
5 Recess: School’s Out (D)
6 Tomb Raider (D)
7 AntiTrust (D+)
8 The One (D+)
9 Corky Romano (D+)
10 The Mexican (C-)
P.S. Since I'm clearly no professional critic, I haven't seen all 698 million films that premiered between January and December of last year, thereby explaining why some of the more popular titles (like "Memento" and other limited releases like that) have been omitted. Then again, maybe they just suck
Well, that was good to get out of my system. Now an entire community of strangers knows exactly how I feel about a year's worth of movies. I truly feel as though I've accomplished something important here
And the winner goes to ... you! For sticking around to the very end, or just bothering to skip down to the bottom and read this last line. But hey, thanks. Now go make your own awards, or don't, because you hate it when people tell you what to do. Not only that, but writing out and categorizing your own entire list of favorite movies? Fucking retarded
=^)
... Mike
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