Ah, the Oscars . . . they come about every year... just like taxes. Everyone recognizes the little gold statuette, a naked man who stands for film excellence.
Film excellence. Let's define film excellence. Flashing back to 1997...top honors went to "Titanic," James Cameron's special-effects laden trite love story set to the backdrop of "My Heart Will Go On" and one of the biggest tragedies ever. A tragedy about another tragedy...it don't seem right, does it?
But that's just one year. Let's go to 1994, shall we? What took top honors that year... oh, I remember. "Forrest Gump," that Hanks movie about the life story of a slow man. Truly Oscar-worthy cinema, especially during the year in which we were treated to the brilliant "Shawshank Redemption" and equally noteworthy "Quiz Show".
Let's face it, folks... the Academy Awards mean nothing to denote a film's excellence. I will admit that sometimes the Academy has made the right choice, giving top honors to movies such as "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "The Silence of the Lambs" (though, in the case of the latter, I DID prefer "JFK"...but "Silence" was so good I couldn't complain). So, in the vein of specials praising the greatest films of all time and greatest movies of all time, I'd like to present the Penguin Awards for entertainment excellence. These awards span all decades of film. Let's take a look-see, shall we?
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Though usually a weak category, some supporting performances by actresses have been quite memorable. For instance, Frances McDormand (see "Best Actress") turned in a fine performance as the wife of a racist police officer in "Mississippi Burning" (1996). Janet Leigh made the role of Marion Crane famous in Hitchcock's 90-minute horror opus, "Psycho" (1960). But, one of the best performances in a movie in which the WHOLE cast deserved Oscars (easy to say, since there were only four actors in the picture), would have to be Sandy Dennis as the mousy alcoholic in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" (1966). AND THE PENGUIN GOES TO: Sandy Dennis.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Usually the most competitive category, I like to think of the Best Supporting Actor as the one who steals the show. For instance, Brad Dourif stole the show as the stuttering institutionalized Billy Bibbit in Milos Forman's brilliant "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975). The late great George C. Scott did just that as well with his performance as a war general in the also-late Stanley Kubrick's "Dr. Strangelove" (1964). How many actors, besides Scott, can honestly say they've turned in one of the greatest comedic performances AND one of the greatest dramatic performances ever -- and playing a military general in both? (the other movie I refer to is, of course, "Patton") George Segal was noteworthy as the other half of the couple which includes Penguin winner Sandy Dennis in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" (1966). But two of the most noteworthy supporting performances ever do not come from classics -- they come from modern classics. Tommy Lee Jones brought a snappy cynicism and dogged wit to U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard in "The Fugitive" (1993), playing the man who's just doing his job. The other is Kevin Spacey, whose star is fastly rising, in one of his earliest performances -- that of crippled criminal "Verbal" Kint in "The Usual Suspects" (1995), a role to which Spacey put his own spin on -- one of those which no one can imagine anyone else in. AND THE PENGUIN GOES TO: It's a tie! Tommy Lee Jones and Kevin Spacey BOTH receive a penguin. Award, that is.
BEST ACTRESS: I won't mention "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" (1966) again, but... Elizabeth Taylor was perfect in that movie, going dowdy and deranged as the near-demonic housewife to nit-picked Richard Burton. Louise Fletcher received an Oscar for her role in Milos Forman's social commentary, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," and is a prominent fore-runner to this category, as is "Fargo" (1996) star Frances McDormand, Penguin nominee for "Mississippi Burning" (1988), who plays pregnant police officer Marge Gunderson. Diane Keaton brought to ditzy "Annie Hall" (1977) a perfect strong vulnerability (oxymoron, I know) Again, though, I'll have to choose a modern nominee, because the winner brought to her FBI rookie something that rarely is brought to portrayals of law officers: humanity. That is why THE PENGUIN GOES TO: Jodie Foster, for "The Silence of the Lambs" (1991)
BEST ACTOR: Always a competitive category. Many Best Actor nominees are for playing crazy people: Anthony Perkins as tortured mama's-boy Norman Bates in "Psycho" (1960), Peter Lorre as tortured compulsive child-murderer Franz Beckart in "M" (1931), Richard Burton as the over-the-edge husband in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" (1966). Front-runner in the "crazyman" category would be Sir Anthony Hopkins in his show-stopping 23-minute turn in "The Silence of the Lambs" (1991). Though Anthony Hopkins brought such a great touch to Dr. Lecter, he's only a close second, because the Penguin goes to an unrestrained performance by a great actor who, interestingly enough, plays a man PRETENDING to be crazy. And he does it just brilliantly. AND THE PENGUIN GOES TO: Jack Nicholson, for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975).
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE PICTURE: Foreign movies are cool. There's not really a different way to put it. Many are just really good. Roberto Benigni's acclaimed comedy-drama "Life Is Beautiful" (1998) is a front runner in this category, as is Giuseppe Tornatore's Oscar-winner, "Cinema Paradiso" (1988). Interestingly enough, runner-up award goes to another Tornatore picture -- the French suspense movie "A Pure Formality" (1994). The best foreign movie ever, though, happens to be my pick for best movie of all time. It's a brilliant social satire, drama, and the first serial-killer picture ever. Featuring a dynamo performance by cinema great Peter Lorre, THE PENGUIN GOES TO: "M" (1931) -- Germany.
BEST DIRECTOR: Orson Welles, "Citizen Kane" (1941). There's no debate about this, I feel. It's just directed brilliantly. Runners-up would include Alfred Hitchcock for "Psycho" (1960), Francis Ford Coppolla for "The Conversation" (1974), and Roman Polanski for "Chinatown" (1974).
BEST PICTURE: There is a bit of competition here. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975) is certainly an obvious choice, leading the pack with a plethora of brilliant performances, including the Oscar- and Penguin-winning Jack Nicholson. "Chinatown" (1974) is Roman Polanski's gritty film-noir masterpiece. "The Night of the Hunter" (1955) is a nightmarish fantasy featuring a beautifully dynamo Robert Mitchum performance as a psychotic preacher. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" (1966) and "12 Angry Men" (1957) are both brilliant 'real-time' movies with incredible performances pouring out of every turn. But the best American movie of all time is the brilliantly suspenseful and near-perfect shattering 1974 film by Francis Ford Coppolla. AND THE PENGUIN GOES TO: "The Conversation" (1974)
Whoo, yeah. Great. Whoo... cheer, cheer, hooray...
Tune in next year. Now get outta hea'. Or I'll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
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