This article used to be called "Inane Rants: A Hygienic View", but not all of the things that I wanted to put here were rants, so I changed it. I'm just going to put all sorts of vaguely movie-related things that I think of. And now, we begin:
Item #1: GEORGE LUCAS HAS TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE
A while ago, George Lucas became evil. I can't tell you exactly when this happened, but the first cracks began to show in "The Return of the Jedi" in the form of Ewoks. Ewoks are actually fairly non-annoying creatures, but they were foreboders of worse things to come (namely, Jar Jar Binks). After the original Star Wars trilogy, Lucas made "Howard the Duck". The question that comes to my mind about this is "Why?" The only answer that I can think of is that he had been possessed by an evil spirit (Quick! Call the exorcist!). More recently, he decided to draw a lot of attention to a Star Wars book called "Shadows of the Empire". This book was destined to become just another of the approximately 4.8 billion other Star Wars books, but George insisted on making action figures and a video game based on it. Why? Nobody knows. And just last year, he made the long-awaited prequel, "Episode 1: The Phantom Menace", which was just bad and had the single most vile and revolting character I have ever seen, and, no, I'm not talking about Darth Maul. If you have an ounce of taste, you'll know who I'm talking about. Also, he made it so that none of the Star Wars films will come out on DVD until the entire prequel trilogy is finished (estimated date: April 12, 2347). Why? Because he can. And finally, he changed the title of the classic movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark" to "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of Lost Ark". Now, to a more sane person, this wouldn't matter very much, but to me, this is pretty damn near blasphemy, only worse. I now have a deep grudge against Darth Lucas, and I am sure as hell hoping that he redeems himself with Episode 2.
Item #2: RALPH FIENNES AND LIAM NEESON LOOK ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME
That about sums it up.
Item #3: MIDGET TYPECASTING
Midgets are always typecast into stereotypical midget roles such as elves, dwarfs, munchkins, and Oompa-Loompas. Also, they are discriminated in other careers too. Are any of the Fortune 500 CEO's midgets? Are there any midgets holding public offices? I didn't think so.
Item #4: CHRISTOPHER WALKEN LOOKS MIGHTY FREAKY
So does Steve Buscemi. Go figure.
Item #10: ACTORS AND ACTRESSES THAT ARE IN MORE THAN ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES
I was just wondering about this, so I decided to make a list of what actors and actresses were in more than one of the movies that I rated 9.0 or higher. Heres a list of them in alphabetical order by last name and how many of the 9.0 or over movies they are in:
Woody Allen -- 5
Mel Brooks -- 3
James Caan -- 2
John Cazale -- 2
John Cleese -- 2
Scatman Crothers -- 2
Faye Dunaway -- 2
Robert Duvall -- 2
Shelley Duvall -- 2
Denholm Elliott -- 2
Harrison Ford -- 2
Alec Guiness -- 2
Gene Hackman -- 2
Sterling Hayden -- 2
Eric Idle -- 2
James Earl Jones -- 2
Madeline Kahn -- 2
Diane Keaton -- 5
Morgana King -- 2
Kenneth Mars -- 2
Jack Nicholson -- 3
Al Pacino -- 2
Michael Palin -- 2
John Rhys-Davies -- 2
Tony Roberts -- 2
Talia Shire -- 2
Christopher Walken -- 2
Gene Wilder -- 4
Bruce Willis -- 2
There are probably more, and I'll try to find them and put them here later.
More stuff coming soon! Maybe!
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