Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.-FULL METAL JACKET
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!-FULL METAL JACKET
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Banky: Archie is NOT fucking Mr. Weatherbee!-CHASING AMY
Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?
Banky: Mmm, get a pizza, watch "Degrassi Jr. High."
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky: I got a weird thing for girls who say "aboot."-CHASING AMY
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Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes! Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his fat head and I said "Listen, man! I'm not going to jail for YOU or for anybody!".- WAYNES WORLD
Tiny: Wanye! How you doin'?
Wayne Campbell: Hey Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beatles.
Wayne Campbell: Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck!
Wayne Campbell: Then it's not just a clever name- WAYNES WORLD
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Dante Hicks: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customer: In a row?-CLERKS
[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the counter.]
Woman with daughter: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal Graves: Yeah, what're you looking for?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal Graves: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Daughter: Happy Scrappy...
Woman with Daughter: She loves it.
Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?-CLERKS
Jay Phat Buds: I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.-CLERKS
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Mike Waters: I'm a connoisseur of roads. I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world.-MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO
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[Manny has been killed and the platoon is looking for revenge.]
Chris: The village, which had stood for maybe a thousand years, didn't know we were coming that day. If they had, they would've run. Barnes was the eye of our rage. And through him, our captain Ahab, we would set things right again. That day we loved him.-PLATOON
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Dragline: He's a natural born world-shaker.-COOL HAND LUKE
Boss: Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that.
Lucas (Luke) Jackson: Nah -- calling it your job don't make it right, Boss.-COOL HAND LUKE
Captain: You gonna get used to wearin' them chains afer a while, Luke. Don't you never stop listenin' to them clinking. 'Cause they gonna remind you of what I been saying. For your own good.
Lucas (Luke) Jackson: Wish you'd stop bein' so good to me, cap'n..-COOL HAND LUKE
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Girl: What're you rebelling against, Johnny?
Johnny: Whaddya got-THE WILD ONE
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Charlie Mackenzie: Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morning... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.-SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER
Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.-SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER
Stuart Mackenzie: Would ya look at the size of that kid's head! It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system! Looks like an orange on a toothpick!.-SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.!.-SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER
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Will: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the schrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.-GOOD WILL HUNTING
Will Hunting: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will Hunting: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?.-GOOD WILL HUNTING
Sean: Do you have a soulmate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts-GOOD WILL HUNTING
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Frank T.J. Mackey: In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve -- it's what you take.-MAGNOLIA
Claudia Gator: I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people.-MAGNOLIA
[Claudia kisses Jim.]
Claudia Wilson Gator: I wanted to do that.
Jim Kurring: Well...
Claudia Wilson Gator: That felt good to do -- to do what I wanted to do-MAGNOLIA
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