I want to say that I just don't care about the upcoming season of movies, but that's not true. I find it exciting and look forward to all sorts of things, but because I've devoted so little time this year to immersing myself in the latest batch of movies, I feel a bit alienated and out of touch. I've hardly seen any trailers for the September-December crop, and can't think of many off the top of my head that I even know about, even after reading various Fall Movie Previews and keeping relatively up-to-date on movie news. So maybe it will be an interesting new experience, going into some of these movies with so little foresight. Nah, probably not, 'cuz I'm about to analyze each and every one of them here, so I'll be able to form all kinds of hasty, uniformed opinions right away. Let's see how that turns out....
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3:10 to Yuma (C) - for all the acclaim some of his movies have received, director James Mangold still seems like a medium-level talent to me, kind of like Taylor Hackford. His movies are decent, sometimes above average, but they don't show much auteurism or unique qualities. If someone told me this movie was actually directed by Ron Howard instead, I wouldn't be remotely surprised. Looks workmanlike, explores a specific genre, uses Russell Crowe, has a couple other good actors in it, will probably be considered proper adult fare but won't make waves. I'll see it for the Crowe-Bale factor, but don't expect much
SHOOT 'EM UP (F) - this movie is getting some rave buzz. Which isn't the same as saying people love the movie itself, merely that they're pumped up based on press kits and trailers. Which astounds me, frankly, because despite badass Clive Owen in badass Clive Owen mode, and Paul Giamatti foaming at the mouth, the trailer sports some of the worst dialogue this side of a crummy, pretentious Michael Davis DTV picture...wait, it is Michael Davis! If you've ever seen his indie romantic comedy "100 Girls", you know what I mean when I say he's the most annoying wannabe-clever hack this business has had to put up with in a long time. His attempts at edgy, offbeat yet crowd-pleasing originality are horrific, and clearly he's indulging those instincts full throttle with his first big-budget job here. It may end up satisfying some people, maybe even me in small doses, since he's trying to find creative means of doing movie action, but it could also be a huge, awkward, self-conscious disaster, like watching a kid in your class try to be sassy/funny with the teacher. You just want to hide under your desk from the humiliating scene. If this movie sucks as much as it easily could yet people end up loving it anyway, I will do something drastic. Like write a nasty review here on OOFnet. Or hang myself.
THE BROTHERS SOLOMON (C-) - I'm not sold on the comedic stylings of the Wills Arnett and Forte, although I so often hear about how funny they were here or there that I'm inclined to assume they must be good. Still, this trailer isn't that funny; in fact it looks downright unpleasant. Something about Forte and Arnett just grates big time, but hopefully they'll find some good material. Otherwise this could be one of the first major disappointments of the Will Ferrell phase of nonsensical comedy...after "Balls of Fury", that is, which I hear is awful. At least this one has Jenna Fischer, though.
HATCHET (B-) - I'm cautiously optimistic about this one. People say it's a return to great horror, and pretty intense and entertaining, but more than any other genre, people have a way of hyping horror no matter how much it blows. If it seems extreme or even remotely inventive, it's heralded as the great new wave. I've learned my lesson, especially after both then-newcomers Eli Roth and Rob Zombie crushed my hopes with 2 of the worst movies ever made. But I can't help be drawn to the promise of some good horror...
IN THE SHADOW OF THE MOON (B-) - not in any rush to see this, but I'm sure it will move me. The mythology of space travel in our culture and history resonates strongly with me for some reason
I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT CHEESE WITH (C) - comedian Jeff Garlin's autobiographical indie comedy. Too many of these lean towards self-indulgent narcissism, and outside of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Garlin seems pretty unfunny to me, so I'll check this out mainly for the supporting cast and hope Garlin has more to offer than it seems
EASTERN PROMISES (C+) - don't know much about it, except it's Cronenberg and not supernatural in any way, continuing his current trend. Also that it stars Viggo Mortensen, which is eh. I have faith in the director though
THE BRAVE ONE (C) - you might expect more with Jodie Foster and Neil Jordan on the marquee, but they've both done their share of surprisingly mediocre work, so this "Death Wish for Chicks" rehash could very well be as lame and unnecessary as it looks
MR. WOODCOCK (D+) - aren't people getting tired of Billy Bob Thornton doing his "Bad Santa" routine? "Bad News Bears" and "School for Scoundrels" were bad enough, and "Bad Santa" was crazy overrated. He's a great actor, but just not funny in any of these movies. This ones looks like a step above "Scoundrels" but not really worth seeing anyway
IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH (D) - am I buying into the anti-Paul Haggis hype now? This looks taxing, and simplistic, and that poster with the prominently displayed flag seems a bad omen. The cast isn't inspiring, either (Tommy Lee Jones has lost a lot of cred over the years).
DECEMBER BOYS (C) - Well, like anyone, I'm curious to see what Daniel Radcliffe is made of outside his Potter shell. Coming of age stories are always worth a look, I think. Don't know enough about this to say I'm excited, though
THE HUNTING PARTY (C) - could go either way
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (B) - I want this to be the greatest movie ever, but it's gotten poor word of mouth and is admittedly quite a gamble (not to mention that the love story and history lesson both look dull). But then, risks can lead to brilliant payoffs as well. I'm sure there will at least be something to take from this, be it the music or the art direction
SILK (C-) - "As 19th century silkworm smuggler Hervé Joncour (Michael Pitt) refocuses his business interests from Africa to Japan, his attention is swayed by a new relationship with the concubine (Koji Yakusho) of a local baron. His obsession turns into an affair which Hervé thinks he will keep secret from his wife, Hélène (Keira Knightley) as the years pass by." ...uh, yeah, maybe...
DRAGON WARS (C-) - I admire the restless spirit of filmmakers trying to do something cool with dragons, but haven't they learned their lesson? True, "Reign of Fire" was pretty good, and "Dragonheart" and "Dragonslayer" weren't too shabby either, but this subject matter has a high failure rate. This one sports the novelty of dragons duking it out in modern urban areas, rather than some quaint fantasyland, but it seems unlikely that something with such a cheesy title, second-rate cast, and shabby ancestry will overcome the odds. I'll be pleased if they do, though
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION (D-) - I'm bound to see this, as a friend and myself have made it a tradition to do so, but God, what a shitty franchise. I can only pray that this one is less noisy, headache-inducing, and childishly graphic than the last two. Setting it in Vegas would hold promise if a) this series didn't have an absolute losing streak, and b) it were actually bustling, glittery Vegas, not post-apocalypse wasteland. Might be fun to see zombies roaming around casinos, but the desert? Eh. At least Paul Anderson isn't directing.
THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD (B) - another potentially interesting film plagued by backstage uncertainty. All the reshoots suggest a mangled result, but the initial appeal, a dark drama starring Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck with what looks like pretty striking cinematography, could've added up to something of "Zodiac" proportions.
THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB (C) - Hard to get enthused about this one
GOOD LUCK CHUCK (F) - I loathe the hype this is getting. Dane Cook can't make a decent movie to save his soul, and Jessica Alba has proven herself just another hot ingenue. Together they add up to pretty much nothing. I assume this is 2007's "Employee of the Month", so maybe everyone will forget about it by the time it's released.
INTO THE WILD (B) - Sean Penn directing the true, tragic story of a college grad who tries to live in Alaskan wilderness. Sounds interesting, could be "Grizzly Man" if it's not too derivative. I'd prefer someone better than Emile Hirsch in the lead, but the rest of the cast is pretty awesome (Vince Vaugh, Catherine Keener, Jena Malone, Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Stewart, William Hurt)
SYDNEY WHITE (F) - Amanda Bynes in a lighthearted college-bound "Snow White" redux. Caters to a specific audience (tweens, or I guess college-level tweens), alienates everyone else
TRADE (C+) - don't remember what it's about, but supposedly Kevin Kline is cast against type, or at least excellent in some way, and I've been waiting a long time for Kevin Kline to be excellent again
THE GAME PLAN (D) - The Rock tries to get cute on us by juxtaposing his macho image with kiddie comedy like every action star in the history of ever. If I liked The Rock more, and wasn't already disenchanted by this concept's overuse, I might care.
LUST, CAUTION (B+) - count on Ang Lee to deliver the goods. I hope the NC-17 rating doesn't prevent it from being available on the big screen.
THE KINGDOM (D+) - Peter Berg is pretty good at making solid entertainment from a variety of genres, but this quasi-political, quasi-thriller, quasi-action, quasi-comedy looks headed for misguided dudville. Nothing wrong with Jaime Fox, but without any real inspiration he isn't much fun to watch, and I have no idea why actors like Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman are in this movie
FEAST OF LOVE (C) - no opinion, which probably isn't a good sign
THE DARJEELING LIMITED (A-) - one of my big hopes of the fall, and of 2007, although it comes with trepidation after the relative failure of "The Life Aquatic". The style, art direction, acting, plot, humor, and pathos all look exactly like his other films, which is both comforting (because his other films are wonderful) and potentially deadly (if he just keeps repeating himself). Adrien Brody is a nice touch, as is the use of India and trains, and that great title. Owen Wilson and Jason Schartzmann, cool as they are, are among the more limited actors in Anderson's repetoire, but hopefully superb writing lends them a hand.
POSTAL (FFF) - needless to say, Uwe Boll should be arrested by the Poor Taste Police for this "9/11 comedy". And for having no talent yet constantly making movies. How does this fucking happen?
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THE SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING (C-) - Fantasy is a fun genre that could use more efforts, but this one looks particularly bland, with not much in the fantastical sense, what looks like a curiously lost budget, and some piss-poor comedy courtesy of a seemingly miscast Ian McShane
THE HEARTBREAK KID (C-) - I should have full faith in this, since I've never been let down by a Farrelly Bros. movie, not even once, even when I underestimate them (like I have the last couple times). But somehow the elements here are weak: Ben Stiller again? Find a fresher comedian. Advertising that it's a return to their R-rated roots? Eh, that might be exciting if we weren't already up to our elbows in other raunchy, profane comedies these days. And remakes always cast a pall, although they can turn out well (like their own last movie, "Fever Pitch", or, say, "Cousins"), but it's already known that they've softened the original's plot to make characters more likable, so no matter how graphic, it's already been compromised in some ways...
GRACIE IS GONE (B-) - should be good in a minor way
FINISHING THE GAME (B) - Justin Lin rebounding from his silly mainstream gigs to make another interesting movie! This is a mockumentary about Bruce Lee's death. Sounds weird and enthralling, and people are positive about it so far.
THE GOOD NIGHT (C+) - could be unique or a big dud.
WE OWN THE NIGHT (C) - James Gray reunites Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix from his "The Yards" to tell another story of small-time hoods and the webs of betrayal and violence they weave yada yada. Not the kind of movie that usually interests me, but if the performances are considered any good, I'll give it a shot.
ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE (B-) - not something you usually see: a sequel to a classy, prestigious historical drama. At least the same people are involved, and there is indeed plenty more story to tell with the subject, so unless they half-ass it, this should be an easy winner. The question then is whether it will be better than the first one. I doubt it will garner the same awards reception, since it lacks originality, but who knows
MICHAEL CLAYTON (B) - ooh, this could be a good one. Or it could be a total snoozer. Writer/director Tony Gilroy's resume is pretty damn spotty...but I'm looking forward to seeing George Clooney challenge himself again.
HITMAN (B-) - I know better than to expect much from a video game movie, but I gotta admit, the trailer for this one is pretty stylish (I love action when it's made to look suave and graceful), and I'll follow Timothy Olyphant anywhere. Hopefully they don't muck this up with too much inane, complicated backstory.
WHY DID I GET MARRIED (F) - more importantly, why does Tyler Perry have a career? Can't he just be on television and leave the movie world alone?
SLEUTH (B+) - If this goes as well as its ingredients promise, it could be fucking brilliant. But I'm worried that it will pale next to the 1972 original. They just don't make movies like that anymore these days, so I'm not so sure they can even if they try. They might add a bunch of useless, stupid crap to make it more modern or palatable or "complex". Then again, it's Caine (great casting), Jude Law, Kenneth Branagh, and Harold Pinter - damn! This could be one of the fall's best
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (C+) - Like everyone else, I'm most curious about this because Ryan Gosling + comedy = ??? He always plays the most tortured, grimly serious characters imaginable, so to imagine him lighthearted or winsome takes some work. And therein lies the appeal, plus the fact that he's a really good actor. The story sounds like it might be too silly for its own good, though
30 DAYS OF NIGHT (B) - Josh Hartnett faces vampires in Alaska, where it's dark for half the year. Pretty cool premise, in a world where vampire movies have grown quite stale. I'm sold, and anxious to see what "Hard Candy" helmsman David Slade can do with this
RESERVATION ROAD (C-) - Joaquin Phoenix: good. Mark Ruffalo: gooder. Jennifer Connelly: blah. Mira Sorvino: blaher. Movie will fly or fall on the strength of its screenplay and actors, so I'll wait for the reviews to pour in
GONE BABY GONE (C) - Ben Affleck doesn't seem like a guy who should be directing movies. He has some things going for him (sense of humor, primarily), but isn't all that striking or proven a talent to make a directorial effort sound intriguing in and of itself. In other words, he's no George Clooney, Denzel, or other A-listers who have crossed over to varying success. At least he's got a strong lead cast to help out, and a crime drama isn't what I'd expect him to tackle, for what it's worth..
RENDITION (C-) - there are an unusual abundance of straightforward adult thrillers this season, with big actors just playing grown-ups with no wacky genre strings attached, dealing with their jobs in various ways. I couldn't really care less about the plot to this one, and it remains to be seen whether Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal can make something of their leads, but Meryl Streep and Alan Arkin are in support, so I'm game
SAW IV (D) - I can guarantee that this will be bad, maybe even worse than the 3 preceding entries now that the creative forces have departed and the story seriously has nowhere logical to go (what with every related character now dead). And what more could they have to offer, beyond new traps? You know the contestants are going to lose in the end, because they have every single time, so forget the story and just hope this satisfies the torture porn enthusiast in you. Me, I'm just in it as a masochist; I like seeing film series through to the end, even when they're awful (i.e. "Leprechaun")
THE COMEBACKS (D+) - if there's one thing Hollywood needs more of, it's definitely the sports comedy...with a fairly terrible cast (sorry David Koechner, but you were the weak link in "Anchorman"), a shitty director, and no distinguishing gimmick, I'm not sure how this one can avoid failure, but I'll give it a chance...on DVD
THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE (C-) - "important" family drama. Halle Berry is a glorified pin-up girl at best, so this Oscar talk chafes at me. I'm much more curious to see what Benicio Del Toro is like, but won't pay much attention to this unless everyone says it's exceptional
DAN IN REAL LIFE (C) - Steve Carell knows comedy, but summer 2007 showed he's not fool-proof. Director Peter Hedges of "Pieces of April" shows promise, which is summarily thwarted by the presence of Dane Cook. Dane Cook and Steve Carell have no business working together. This could be really lame.
FUNNY GAMES (B) - I feel unqualified to judge Michael Haneke's remake of his own disturbing classic, since I haven't seen it yet (keep meaning to, just haven't made a strong effort). The very notion of him remaking it is good enough to check this out (although the precedent has been only decent - Hitchcock's "The Man Who Knew Too Much" - and regrettable - George Sluizer's "The Vanishing"), but there's also the truly unsettling reputation that the first film has and sheer curiosity as to how well he can re-create it, and the odd use of name actors (and damn good ones - Tim Roth and Naomi Watts) to act it out. Could be a pointless, misguided mess, detrimental to the original's legacy, but it'll at least be fun to find out
RUN, FAT BOY, RUN (D+) - in theory, the lineup itself is aces: Michael Ian Black, David Schwimmer, Simon Pegg. ..r inspection, however, Michael Ian Black can be downright annoying when removed from the Stella context, Schwimmer has always seemed like a likable, talented movie star trapped in a shlub's veneer, but his work has reliably failed to live up to that for the last decade, and Simon Pegg, well, he doesn't seem to belong in this company. Oh, and the movie relies on him in a fat suit. If that's not a terrifying omen, I don't know what is...
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AMERICAN GANGSTER (B) - with a profile this high, it should be this year's "The Prestige" - excellent big-budget entertainment by a strong director, with a pair of truly exceptional movie stars duking it out. Unless it isn't.
THE KITE RUNNER (C) - not sure yet. Could be sweet, or treacly.
BEE MOVIE (C-) - As a major Seinfeld fan, I really wanted this movie to be good. The guy did nothing in TV or film for almost a decade, so his comeback vehicle seriously needs to be worth it. I thought he might subvert the CG-cartoon formula somehow, but the depressing trailer just features the same old safe, cheeky, anthropomorphic gags and bland-imation. If the movie were anything like those initial teasers with Jerry and co-star Chris Rock just dressed up in bee costumes pretending to film the movie in live action, we could've have something here. In reality, it'll take some damn good observational humor on Seinfeld's part to make this work
MARTIAN CHILD (C-) - isn't this John Cusack widowed-father drama a little reminiscent of his nearby "Gracie is Gone"? I guess it has its own gimmick - the kid thinks he's an alien, but that sort of thing tends to result in bludgeoning symbolism and maudlin sentimentality, so this has an uphill battle
LIONS FOR LAMBS (B-) - I'm hoping for the best (Tom Cruise may be a weirdo but he's done enough good movies to remain in my favor for a long, long time), but other than the actors involved, I don't see a strong selling point here. As a director, Robert Redford is like Sydney Pollack - reliable, intelligent, incisive, but occasionally too stodgy. And Redford can be sorely over-indulgent, too.
FRED CLAUS (D) - like the rest of you, I automatically assumed this Paul Giamatti/Vince Vaughn Christmas caper would be the alternative to generic studio comedies. I mean, these guys aren't your usual Tim Allens and Martin Lawrences. They're still somewhat edgy, even if all their success has probably gone to their heads and then some. But then the trailer for this dropped, and wow...what a turd. This is about as "edgy" as "The Santa Clause 8" will be. Rather than use their trademark weary cynicism to redefine the Santa mythos, Vaughn and Giamatti look like they're just playing dumb in a total sell-out pile of junk. Unless it's a major case of false advertising, this is going to suck, and not even in a pretentiously "dark" "Bad Santa" way. Just in an embarrassing "Martin Short should be in this" kind of way.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (A-) - Thank God the Coens are putting their formidable talents to use again after softballing it with a few mildly kooky comedies (the flaws in "The Ladykillers" seem less and less forgivable the more I think about them). With all the good festival buzz, this seems like a sure thing. Could be a best-of-the-year contender.
SOUTHLAND TALES (B+/D) - heh, I'll believe this is coming to theaters when I see it. About 3-4 years ago, I was envisioning a profoundly strange, genre-spanning epic that would define our generation; then the critical raping occurred, and I grew up a little bit and realized that the ultra-cool cast is actually pretty cheesy and B-list (although I'm still eager for Wallace Shawn). I'm still dying to see what it could possibly be like, but I don't suppose I'll like it, sadly...
I COULD NEVER BE YOUR WOMAN (C-) - Paul Rudd keeps me interested, but Michelle Pfeiffer, like Jodie Foster, never finds worthwhile ways to justify her long working hiatuses, and Amy Heckerling is definitely not reliable. This is either sharp or stale.
BEOWULF (C+) - I loves me some Robert Zemeckis, but his last motion-capture attempt was fucking creepy. Trying to make an adult film with this method is undeniably intriguing, but also fraught with peril, and adapting something like "Beowulf", and with this cast, just reeks of yet another "Gladiator"/"Kingdom of Heaven"/"Alexander" stuffy ancient war epic. I suspect this will have some breathtaking visuals in one way or another, but I can't imagine it finding a big audience, and the translation of the epic poem to an enjoyable motion picture seems pretty damn difficult......if nothing else, though, we do have Crispin Glover as the monster Grendel to look forward to. Even if it's just his voice and not also motion capture (that would be so awesome), this has gotta be one of the great WTF? movie moments of 2007
MR. MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM (C+) - Unbelievably CORNY, to the point where it might just be embarrassing to watch. But I still want to see it. I like movies that celebrate the whimsy of magic, and I like Dustin Hoffman even though he no longer seems capable of delivering real performances. He's a caricature of himself, like most '70s legends (De Niro, Pacino, not Gene Hackman, he's still the real deal but he doesn't even make movies anymore). If this goes even slightly awry, though, it could be one of the more shameful titles on the resumes of everyone involved.
LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA (B-) - sounds like it could be a good movie, and I like many of its stars (Catalina Sandino Moreno, Hector Elizondo, Liev Schreiber)
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING (B) - I'll trust anything Noah Baumbach puts in front of me, even if the cast isn't so promising (Nicole Kidman hasn't had a convincing performance in years, so she doesn't seem suited to the director's usual gift with actors...and Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jack Black? Dubious). It should at least be sharply written.
ENCHANTED (B) - I dunno, the Disney brand name and stale fish-out-of-water premise are omens, but I want to believe in this half-animated fairy tale starring that most endearing of new stars, Amy Adams. The animation looks sublime (2-D! I'm in love already) and it could be a crafty subversion/celebration of form if it doesn't fall the way of other bland Disney opuses
THE MIST (B) - could suck (Stephen King short story), but there's a comfort food delight to be found in adaptations of his quickie horror tales. If nothing else it should be pulpy and more reliably old-school horror than most of the crap Hollywood comes up these days. Plus: Frank Darabont, which is totally bizarre (I thought the guy was an important A-lister), and hence intriguing. Plusser: it's about killer mist (with monsters in it)! If that isn't a perfect B-movie hook, then I haven't seen either version of "The Fog"
THIS CHRISTMAS (F) - I'm scared to sound prejudiced, but the fact that this yuletide film is about African Americans kind of ruins its appeal. Why? Because those films tend to appeal only to that ethnicity, except on rare occasions (Boyz N the Hood, Soul Food, Spike Lee). They're very much niche films. This one does sport a rather fine cast, but that hasn't stopped earlier movies of similar pedigrees from sucking. If it manages to find crossover appeal, I'll be more than happy to embrace it. Otherwise, I'll plan to ignore it, I guess. Sorry.
I'M NOT THERE (B-) - I'm not convinced it will turn out to be any good, but at least it's gonna draw us in with its unique approach. I'm especially looking forward to Cate Blanchett's Dylan, although Heath Ledger's and Christian Bale's should be equally compelling. And hey, it's a movie about Bob Dylan. True, "Masked and Anonymous" was widely considered a complete train wreck, but if a good character study can be spun off anyone, it's this guy. As long as it isn't overly pretentious, perplexing, or too esoteric for its own good.
AUGUST RUSH (C-) - ehhh...
PATHOLOGY (C-) - if it avoids the dull complexities of recent forensic programs, this could be a shrewdly creative what-if scenario or even an engrossing drama/thriller along the lines of "Rope" ('cuz it seems like a cheesy adaptation of the Leopold and Loeb case). Then again, it stars Alyssa Milano.
THE CHRISTMAS COTTAGE (D) - a movie about Thomas Kinkade? Seriously? That's like making a movie about the founder of Taco Bell or something. I won't lie - whether or not it counts as important art, I am a fan of his warm, sentimental paintings, although I don't own any. But they do provide heartwarming escapism. Maybe he's a weirdo in real life, or he just callously sells this crap to the gullible masses, but whatever: they're nice, okay? Still, though, this movie sounds like a royal turkey.
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THE GOLDEN COMPASS (C) - man, am I the curmudgeon. I'm all for the proliferation of fantasy in the wake of "Harry Potter" and "LotR", but some of this stuff looks downright lame. This might be more prestigious than "The Seeker" but it doesn't seem to have much more to offer. The awe-inspiring fantastical elements look fairly limited (yeah yeah the big armored snow bear - what else?), the cast reeks (Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig? Come on), and they're not selling the story well. Still, given the tent pole presentation it's receiving and the popularity of the books, I'm sure it will amount to something halfway decent. I just can't see it yet.
LEATHERHEADS (B+) - is it just me or is George Clooney becoming the next Coen Bros.? His collaborations with the duo have clearly rubbed off, as he headlines this screwball comedy-by-way-of-the-1930s on both sides of the camera, after his masterfully mature and artful "Good Night and Good Luck", which followed the surrealistic tragicomedy of "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind". Sound familiar, like the last 20 years of work the Coens have done? I'm all for it. Football comedies are a dried-up endeavor, but Clooney is just quirky and crowd-friendly enough to pull it off, if he really means it. Renee Zellweger would seem a liability (see: career trajectory of Nicole Kidman), but she was pretty damn good in her last old-fashioned comedy, "Down with Love", so the casting might be brilliant. And there's John Krasinski, working with talented artists rather than, y'know, Robin fucking Williams and Mandy Moore. Let him show off his "Office" charisma. Ditto Stephen Root - this guy debases himself again and again, but he was genius once, on "Newsradio", so there's hope. Done right, this could be the most charming confection of the year.
ATONEMENT (C) - people at the Toronto festival are calling this one of the best films of the year, so my initial disinterest will no doubt we repealed
I AM LEGEND (D+) - I've said it before and I won't stop - Will Smith ruins other people's movies. He's an ingratiating fellow, all right, and less stiff than whichever action star was bound to play this role previously, but he's always the sassy, wacky, narcissistic Will Smith, which worked early on when the filmmaking was still fresh and the filmmaking was zany enough (via Barry Sonnenfeld). But he tends to steal attention away from everything, especially the integrity of the screenplay, when he's the star, so whatever virtues this very, very, very long in the making adaptation might possess, it's possibly they'll be overshadowed by his antics. And even if they're aren't (he is still a charismatic actor, so it could work), the fact that this has been in development hell for so long isn't a great sign.
JUNO (B-) - yeah, I'm on the Michael Cera bandwagon now. Also Jason Reitman can prove whether "Thank You for Smoking" was the real deal or just a fluke, and he's assembled another dandy ensemble cast for it.
CASSANDRA'S DREAM (B) - who cares if it's good or bad. It's Woody Allen, so I like it. It's still hard for me to accept that he makes a movie every single year (for the past 35 or so), because it already feels like an eternity since "Scoop", barely 12 months ago. I'm spoiled.
THE PERFECT HOLIDAY (C-) - see "This Christmas"
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS (FFF) - for anyone who has already seen any of the trailers: 'nuff said. For those still in the dark, let me set the scene for you: it's a live action version of the Chipmunks. And if the poster is to be believed, they are apparently rap stars now, but really, I had you at "live action", didn't I? Worst movie of the year.
YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH (C+) - worth a shot because it's Francis Ford Coppola's return, but nothing about it really stands out thus far
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS (B-) - this sounds like too much of a good thing that wasn't technically very good to start with. The first movie was a guilty pleasure of sorts, a totally cheesy historical adventure comedy ripoff with far too much Bruckheimer-ian bombast, but it scored. Now another one? Bruckheimer is no stranger to overkill, and it was terribly unlikely that the first one would be any fun at all, so can lightning strike twice? I hope so, but...
SWEENEY TODD (B+) - I accepted a few years back what astute viewers have known for ages, that Tim Burton isn't so hot a director or storyteller, but man can he fashion a dazzling show for you! I forgive pretty much all his movies for their utter superficiality and clumsiness because they're so vividly enchanting to be with (the major exception being that relatively awful "Chocolate Factory" update). I suspect this will be more of the same, in a good way. And a musical, to boot - hopefully not as lame as "Charlie and the Lame Factory"
WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY (B-) - so Will Ferrell's playmate John C. Reilly tries his hand at a Ferrell-style parody of a famed oblivious fool. I can't help but think that Ferrell himself would be better in the role, but Reilly deserves his chance. I'm reluctant to admit that the trailer just wasn't funny, despite everything being in its court (a ripe subject for satire, Jenna Fischer, other casting coups, Judd Apatow producing, Jake Kasdan), but Paul Rudd as John Lennon cracks me up, so it can't be all bad.
P.S., I LOVE YOU (D) - zzzzzz....
FLAKES (C) - directed by Michael Lehmann, who's hit but usually miss. If it's less generic than his misses, it could be a winner. And with Christopher Lloyd in there, the movie's already guaranteed one viewer (me).
THE BUCKET LIST (D+) - despite how many wonderful films he made (from about '84-'95), Rob Reiner is currently the kiss of death, which isn't good for a movie whose selling point is already a kiss of death itself: old men getting wacky to avoid mortality. Of course, one of them is Jack Nicholson, and the other is Morgan Freeman, so they could either elevate the material, or be thrown down into the muck with it. As always I wish for the best, but fear for the worst
THERE WILL BE BLOOD (B+) - though this does not seem worthy of P.T. Anderson's talent, I don't know enough about it to judge. Just that I was hoping for another heartbreaking study of loneliness. But how could this not work? He hasn't floundered yet, after 10 years (only 4 films, but still). I'm not a big fan of Upton Sinclair (his novel "The Jungle" has the distinct displeasure of avoiding any and all human interest, which is the precise opposite of what makes Anderson's work so wonderful), but if Anderson thinks it's good enough to do, I'll have faith. Could be great.
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM (F) - didn't even know this was in the works until recently. Why? I thought the first one failed. It should have, at least. So pitiful. This one boasts an R-rating and hence a step in the right direction, but it also sounds like a cheesy made-for-the-Sci-Fi Channel flick. Don't expect much.
THE SAVAGES (B) - good actors in challenging roles. What more can we ask for, theoretically?
THE ORPHANAGE (B-) - sounds to me like it owes "The Others" some dues, not to mention a few other similar works. But I've heard good things, and I loved "The Others", so if it tries to be scary in the same ways (rather than simply mirroring its plot points), we all stand to benefit.
CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR (B) - another entry that forces objectivity out the window: I'm just glad to see Tom Hanks in something. Why is it that the really good actors who become famous always take the easy way out as they start to age, either heading to behind-the-scenes work or playing it safe in light comedies and supporting roles? Tom Hanks should still be choosing ace scripts with plum parts like he did so often in the '90s. Instead he just pops up once in a while and wastes his time. Because this looks a project with some actual substance to it, I'm expecting old-school Hanks, the effortless pro of yore, to do something superb with it. Helps that Mike Nichols is responsible, and maybe even Julia Roberts won't be too bad! (Maybe). The source material is enticing.
THE WATER HORSE: LEGEND OF THE DEEP (C) - the last time I'll use this disclaimer: fantasy movies are cute and fun and magical, but they so easily turn to suck that it's hard to get excited for them. This one is easier to dismiss, because it's about some kind of loch ness monster, and the poster makes it look like some dorky low-budget creature made for a Disney Channel TV series. Or 1995's "Magic in the Water", starring Mark Harmon and Joshua Jackson. Remember that? No? Well trust me, this looks just like it. Beware.
PERSEPOLIS (B) - a serious animated film, with an original style. Could be lifeless or it could help push along the slowly emerging trend of mature, experimental cartoon features, and early festival reviews strongly suggest the latter
Wow, I can't believe I actually finished one of these for once. I wonder if that means there's something missing in other parts of my life nowadays, that I was able to focus on this to the end. I should be working my career goals or something, man. Movies consume me too much, even when, as evidenced here, I'm so casually blase about most of them. Oh well.
So, the upshot to this season: hmmmmm. Usually I have something nice to say no matter how bleak a movie season looks, but every possible angle is sabotaged by lack of evidence. I want to say there's plenty of interesting movies, but many of them could easily fall flat. I want to say that it's good to see so many adult films being offered, but that doesn't always mean they'll be worth a damn. I dunno, this fall looks kind of average.
The downside is manyfold, the worst thing being that there is no genuinely wonderful front runner to look forward to. Every year I can count on a select few films to excite me beyond all objectivity and give me hope that some Best of the Years are still to come, even if those dreams are occasionally dashed ("The Life Aquatic", "Elizabethtown", etc.). But, while there is a healthy amount of excellent directors returning to the fold, the film themselves are keeping me at a distance so far. Maybe it's for the aforementioned reason that I haven't gotten up close and personal with many of them yet; usually, unless the personnel is truly fantastic, it takes a great trailer to get me seriously pumped for a movie, or maybe gushing advanced reviews (hence "No Country for Old Men" and a few other highly graded ones here), and I haven't seen many trailers yet. But still, the ones I have seen that might be sure things (such as "The Darjeeling Limited", "Sleuth", "There Will Be Blood") give me just as much pause to worry as reason to believe. I don't think I'm being more jaded than usual - it's just that each of these potentially superb films is fraught with similar potential to suck, or at least disappoint. Wes Anderson could be treading water even more, "Sleuth" is part of a long line of pointless, limp remakes, P.T. Anderson isn't exactly playing to his strengths (or so it seems), and others like "Leatherheads", "Michael Clayton", "Margot at the Wedding", "Lust, Caution", "Across the Universe", and "Charlie Wilson's War" are equally dicey. I'm sure they can't all let me down, and there's bound to be a few 2007 highlights amongst this crowd, but it's a bit dissatisfying to not be able to see them just yet.
THE BEST LOOKING FILMS OF THE YEAR'S FINAL MONTHS (based on early presumptions)
1) The Darjeeling Limited
2) No Country for Old Men
3) There Will Be Blood
4) Lust, Caution
5) Leatherheads
6) Sleuth
7) Michael Clayton
8) Margot at the Wedding
9) Casandra's Dream
10) Across the Universe
11) Into the Wild
12) Charlie Wilson's War
13) Persepolis
14) The Savages
15) Finishing the Game
COULD SURPRISE ME BY BEING AWESOME
1) Atonement
2) Juno (Michael Reitman)
3) I'm Not There (Todd Haynes)
4) Eastern Promises (Cronenberg)
5) Lions for Lambs (Pollack)
6) The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
7) The Heartbreak Kid (Farrelly Bros.)
8) Love in the Time of Cholera
9) Elizabeth 2
10) Enchanted
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